Never try to become anything. That’s the key.
I’ll explain and I insist you see the truth of it.
First of all, there are certain myths about confidence that need to be debunked first.
- Confidence is not to be achieved. It’s not a medal that you have to work hard to get. You can be confident right now. Think about it. When you are hungry you eat food. You don’t keep thinking “I must eat food. I have to eat food”. Confidence is like that. Either you are confident at a moment or you are not.
- If you are trying to “become” confident then it simply means you are not “being” confident. And if you are not “being”, then you are not. You can’t be confident by thinking “I should become confident”. You will always be in future.
- According to me, confidence is a state of certainty when your mind is clear. This state might come for a moment and go next moment. So, don’t think confidence is something that has to be present always. People with fairly good confidence can fall into nervousness. It’s okay.
Now, how do you achieve confidence?
Confidence comes when you don’t live under delusions.
Again, there might come a moment of clarity when you would feel elated. Such a moment of clarity is called “epiphany”. How do you act when you have such epiphanies? That state is confidence.
Why some people are more confident? It depends on several factors:
- Self image: How do you see yourself in your mind? It would depend on the beliefs that you hold about yourself.
- Your bodily energy levels: It has been observed that people with great energy levels usually have a better clarity of mind. It actually works both way.
- Focus: You might have certain flaws. Everybody has. But you have some good qualities also. Where do you put your focus? Good or bad? How do you interpret events? It has a great bearing on your confidence.
- Wisdom: Do you fight with the inevitable? It means you are not being intelligent. You are not acting out of truth. Also, remember that you need to remind your subconscious of the wisdom again and again if you really want to live it. Otherwise you can keep talking about it and nothing would change. Read some great books. More wisdom you gain more you shift towards “beingness”.
- Experience: Well, it is very specific. See, if you gain experience in a certain field then you would gradually gain more and more confidence about it.
So, what are the takeaways?
- Recognise what is stopping you? Gain some clarity about it. If you do believe that people will hate you for being confident then be it. You can’t keep everyone happy and you don’t need to. That is not your job.
- Improve your self image. How do you see yourself?
- Read the biographies of people who fought against all odds and won. Now, if you can do that you are an inspiration for others.
Remember the following quotes by Marriane Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Spread love with AnMa! #FeelGood #ANMA
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